A certain point of view....

By the time The Force Awakens came out in Dec. of 2015, the question “who is Rey?” was already a topic of much debate.  I want to revisit this question (4 years later) as the debate rages on leading up to episode IX.  I’ve had numerous conversations, debates and interactions online that have helped shape this opinion: I believe she is the youngest child of Han and Leia Solo.  

Furthermore, I think that Rey was at Luke’s Jedi academy when Ben burnt it to the ground, but Ben spared her - and it was Ben that stashed her away on Jakku.  Kylo knows exactly who she is the whole time where everyone else believes she died in the massacre at the academy.  Han and Leia don't recognize her as their possible daughter bc they think she's dead.  Luke too.  Plus Luke has turned off the Force so he can't "see" her in that regard either.

I realize there is much speculation involved with most fan theories, and not all evidence is equal.  Disagree if you like but hopefully by the end of this you’ll understand and appreciate why I’m confident in this idea.

Much of the "evidence" can, by themselves, be counted as coincidence, but there is a lot of coincidence:

1. Rey has a doll of a rebel pilot. Maybe she made it.  Maybe it was with her when she got dropped off.
2. Rey knows how to fight - with a staff and seems comfortable with a light saber. Growing up a junker, she probably had to fight by necessity. But to the degree of her competence... she’s either been taught how to use these items or she is incredibly Force-sensitive/flexible.
3. She can understand/communicate with droids.  This is not a unique talent but it is another similarity to Luke and Anakin.
4. She’s a fantastic pilot like Anakin and Luke and Han.
5. Great mechanic too.  Just like Anakin and Han.
6. Hux says to Kylo (when they are trying to get the map off Jakku), “don’t let your personal interests interfere...” - which is easily explainable as Kylo’s interest in Luke...but does Hux know about his sister?  Got me thinking.  Maybe that’s why Kylo keeps Hux around bc they're frienemies and Kylo told him about it and now Hux is kind of blackmailing him - but they’re both keeping it from Snoke bc they hate him......nah.
7. In old canon, Han and Leia had twins. A boy (Jacen), and a girl (Jaina). While technically the old canon has been thrown out, it makes sense to parallel some of the bigger plot lines - especially for the older SW fans.  It makes sense that if Han and Leia had a son, they’d also have a daughter - even if they weren’t twins.
8. There is a Black Series 6” figure of Jaina Solo. Seems odd to have one but not the other.  Here’s the description of the character:   Jaina is a crack pilot in Rogue Squadron as well as a Jedi student of Luke Skywalker. She is also a skilled mechanic, having learned from her father, Han Solo, and Chewbacca. She is also impressive in combat. Sounds like Rey to me.
9. According to TFA Visual Dictionary, Rey is about 19 yrs old.  Pablo Hidalgo (Lucasfilm Creative Exec) stated on Twitter that Kylo was 29-30.  While Twitter is not canon, having a 10 year age difference does allow for this to fit.
10. She seems to be a combination of all the best traits of Anakin, Luke and Han: strong with the Force, supremely talented, desire to help, motivated, risk-taker, willing to serve and lead. 
11. Rey is dark-haired, dark-eyed, and feisty.....is there another woman in the SW universe this sounds like?
12. Han offers her a blaster and a job.  He could be sympathetic to her situation, he could see her and remember he had a daughter, or maybe there is something more to her than a memory of a daughter....
13. Ben’s reaction to hearing that the deserter stormtrooper and the BB droid escaped the first order with the aide of a girl....was instant and telling. “WHAT GIRL?”  He knew...and was concerned immediately.
14. On Starkiller base, Kylo stated about Rey "She's just beginning to test her powers. The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes." He knows that the body will remember it’s functions quicker than the mind will remember it’s memories.... 
15. Kylo to Rey, “Han Solo, you feel like he’s the father you never had....you’d be disappointed.”  That’s obviously his feeling about his dad but he projects onto her that feeling that Han is the father she never had.  He brought it up.  Bc he knows.
16. Let’s get something out of the way here: Rey is not her real name.  I believe “Rey” is the name she gave herself bc she found a rebel pilot helmet early in her junking career and while she daydreamed about being a pilot, she just assumed the name on the side of the helmet.  In Arubesh it spells R-Ae-H.  Too big of an easter egg for it not to have meaning.  
17. She has awareness of Luke (thought he was a myth) and Han (the smuggler) and the Falcon but all are speculative rumors of their existence.  As though she’d overheard a conversation about a story of them...or a memory scratching at the back of her mind. 
18. George Lucas’s “Kira Solo” idea.
19. Speaking of George, in a Vanity Fair promo, they had famous people “ask JJ Abrams anything” and George’s question was “JJ, what happend to Darth Vader’s grandchildren?”  JJ laughs it off and says “you tell me, you made all this shit up.”  Now if I may read wayyyyy too much into this.... George said grandchildren - which is plural.  (unless he meant grandchild REN....hm)  In the EU Darth has grandkids from luke and leia so maybe that’s what he meant - as in "why didn't you use them in the sequels?" Or he could be referring to another sky-walk-er... yet to be revealed in IX.  JJ deferred to him and asks “u tell me” so maybe George’s vision of Han and Leia having 2 kids is still on the table.
20. The last we see Rey in TLJ, she is piloting the Falcon with chewie.  Where Ben should be.  Where he could be still but she is coming into, her heritage, as part of the Solo/Skywalker legacy.
21. When Rey saw Kylo, she shot first (and often), just like Han. (it's a stretch, I know)

So why can’t she remember who she is?

This is the biggest twist to my theory.  Kylo, feeling betrayed by his uncle and Master (and being heavily manipulated by Snoke) destroyed the jedi academy.  But kept his sister alive, presumingly seeing her innocence and was not willing to cut off all family connections completely. We know that Kylo has the ability to pry information from the minds of others so I don’t think it’s a reach for him to be able to hide information in their minds as well.  So knowing that he couldn’t keep “Rey” with him, he tucked her away on a far away planet and in a sense, hid her memories.  When she says she’s no one from no where, it’s actually because that’s all she can say!  She never has gone into who exactly she’s waiting for bc she has no idea the truth is!  Some brief memories come out during the Force dream in Maz’s basement, but that’s it.  Kind of like that spell Hermione places on her parents at the start of Deathly Hallows 1.  With Rey’s abilities, she probably could have left awhile ago but she has an unfulfilled sense to wait for her “family” (which is a rather vague term to use for such a strong sense to stay in a crappy place).  Kylo placed her there and wanted her to stay there, so he mind tricked her into believing it’s where she was supposed to be.  And remember that mind tricking Rey was something Kylo couldn’t do by the time TFA came, however much easier to do to a youngling. She doesn’t really know why she has to go back or whom she’s waiting for.

1. Rey’s Force vision in the basement: when the Skywalker Saber called to her, she saw some things about Luke, heard voices, and I thought the part where she was lying on her back in the rain was compelling.  It’s here where she is seeing something from her past (she’s herself in this part).  Someone comes to attack her but Kylo kills them.  Then he stands with the knights of Ren, and takes steps toward her then the scene immediately changes to young Rey being left on Jakku with Unkar.  She says “don’t leave me” right after the previous scene is Kylo walking toward her?  He advances toward her and then she says don’t leave me.  He advances toward her and then she says don’t leave me!  She is saying it to Kylo.  (cut to Kylo hiding her memories and telling her she needs to wait here for her family [him] to come get her.)
2. Maz has been around and can recognize eyes...when Rey gets up from the table to go talk Finn out of leaving (at Maz’s place), Maz immediately asks Han, “who’s the girl?”  The scene immediately cuts before Han answers.  The next time we see Maz is in her basement talking to Rey after the Force vision she had. I think she might have figured something out.... This conversation takes on a whole different feel if you watch it under the assumption Maz has put some things together here:

Rey - "What was that? I shouldn't have gone in there"
Maz - "That lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him and now it calls to you!" ESTABLISHES LINEAGE
Rey - "I have to get back to Jakku"
Maz - "Han told me" WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? DOES HE HAVE AN INKLING? "Dear child, I see your eyes - you already know the truth. Whomever you are waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back, but there's someone who still could" THEY AREN’T COMING BACK BC THEYRE ALREADY HERE - AND KYLO KNOWS SHES NOT ON JAKKU ANYMORE - NO ONE HAS A NEED TO GO BACK TO JAKKU
Rey - "Luke"
Maz - "The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead. I am no jedi, but I know the force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes, feel it. The light. It's always been there. It will guide you. The sabre - take it."  MAZ KNOWS JAKKU IS POINTLESS.  STRANGELY SHE DOESN’T SAY YES OR NO TO “LUKE”, ONLY THAT THE LIGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE ......SHES ASKING REY TO REMEMBER....?
Rey - "I'm never touching that thing again, I don't want any part of this"  IN HER VISION, REY DID REMEMBER SOMETHING AND IT WAS OVERWHELMING.  SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AFRAID WHAT SHE SAW WAS TRUE AND WASN’T PREPARED AT THAT MOMENT TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF THE TRUTH.  Maz knows that she can’t be told the truth bc she’d never believe it.  She has to remember.... this happens in a lot of movies btw.

Why did Ben hide her away - and then not tell her the truth about who she is?

Well, Ben has some family issues.  He feels betrayed by his uncle and by his parents for leaving him with his uncle.  Then there’s the fact that his grandfather was one of the most powerful Sith of all time.  He is quite split, filled with anger and confusion.  Where he could kill his father and wanted to kill his uncle, he could NOT kill his mother.  Nor his sister. Now he couldn’t leave Rey with the memories she had of him killing people she cared about, nor could he leave her with memories of the kind of people their parents are.  He must leave her with no knowledge of any family - including him.  So he does, and further pushes his agenda (of getting Rey to come with him willingly) by lying to Rey about who her parents are.  He tries to convince her that she truly is a no one from no where so she doesn’t have the same family hang-ups he has.  He knows his family is a weakness of his and in his way, is trying to free her of having to deal with the same issues. 

“You know the truth. Say it. Say it. They were nobody. They were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a paupers' grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing. But not to me. Join me. Please.”

See what Kylo does here?  Rey’s parents are disappointing, uncaring and dead.  (All the opposite of what they really are.)  They are nothing and she is less.  The only out she has is Kylo - he is her savior, leader, mentor....her family**. Ultimately, she is the sister/apprentice he wants by his side so they can rule the galaxy.

Kylo wants to tell her so bad that they are family, but is waiting for the opportune moment.  Like he did with what really happened with Luke and him.  It could have happened in Snoke’s throne room but he could tell Rey wasn’t buying-in.  So we wait.

Finally, we have seen episodes 7 and 8 pay off huge nods to the original trilogy.  Many of the same beats and story lines run parallel in the sequels (ex. death star vs starkiller).  This is all building up to a “no, Rey I am your Brother” kind of payoff/holy crap apex in IX.  And it would great.

All of this could be true....from a certain point of view.....but the Dark side clouds everything....

**If absolutely NONE of this ends up correct, I won't care.  This is just a look at all the coincidental evidence out there.  If this just ends up a fun deep dive, so be it.  I'm probably going to love IX no matter what.  But as we say on the pod, "when your predictions become your expectations, you will leave disappointed." 

A Meaningful Birthday

To me, birthdays have never been a huge deal.  While I've always appreciated the cards and gifts that I'd receive (along with the mud pie, strawberry shortcake and ice cream), I've always thought it was a little strange to celebrate something that I had very little to do with.  Celebrate my poor mother who squeezed my melon head through the birth canal. Listen, I understand why we celebrate birthdays, it's just not a big deal to me. The truth is, we get older every day. When I turned 18, I probably had track practice - just like when I turned 16 - and I didn't get my license because I was still taking the driver's ed.  When I turned 21, I came up from Portland and had a few friends come to my folks house.  Many birthdays as an adult have been spent at parent conferences.  A handful of times my bday has coincided with Easter, which is cool because that is a worthy reason to celebrate.  Most birthdays usually involve getting together with my family and having some cake.  Nothing big or extravagant, and certainly no traveling. Cortney threw me my first surprise party when I turned 38 and it was perfect.  A couple friends, and like always, my fam (which includes her fam now too).  All that to say that you can celebrate yours however you like; this year will be different for me.

I turned 39 last March which means a few things: I'm obviously getting older (I swear I was just in my 20s), I should be getting more mature and wiser, and the next birthday is a biggie.... 40!  Instead of doing the norm, I want to do something different.  Some people want a party, some want a star to be named after them, some want a new chainsaw or car or whatever the case may be - I want a well.  I'm going to build a well.  Well, not actually dig and build a well, but fund the digging and building of a well in a place that needs it badly.  Maybe Africa.  Maybe South America.  Maybe Asia.  The location is irrelevant to me.  Where there is water, there is life.  Water changes everything.

Some simple points to bring some meaning to the plan:

• 4,500 kids die every day from diseases related to drinking dirty water.  Think of it like this - diarrhea is a big child-killer in places where clean water doesn't exist.  Death by dehydration.  The only way to battle dehydration is to drink more of the dirty water that got them sick to begin with.  It's a cycle that doesn't have to exist. 
• Many schools in poor/underdeveloped communities don't have clean water or bathrooms.  This has obvious ramifications but a real simple one is that teenage girls miss school a week out of the month, every month, because they are unable to take care of their cycles.
• The gathering of water is typically done by women and they walk as much as 8 hours a day to do so - only to get as much as they can carry (up to 5-6 gallons typically, which is heavy!).  Then they have to decide what to do with that (dirty) water once it is home. Drink it? Prepare food with it?  Clean their clothes or bathe?  Water their plants/garden?  Five gallons is one flush of the toilet for us.
• Trekking such distances for poor water is dangerous as well.  The further away from the village one goes, there is an increase of animal attack, theft, rape and murder.  All this just so they can get a few jugs of dirty water that could potentially kill them anyway....

Where there is clean water, there is improved health and quality of life.  Where there is clean water, there is education.  Where there is clean water, there is agriculture.  Where there is clean water, there is commerce.  Where there is clean water, there is dignity.  Where there is clean water, THERE IS LIFE.  This is what WE can help provide to people desperately needing it.  Can you imagine what the 25 year old mom can do with the 8 hours she now has because she doesn't have to walk every day for 6 gallons of water???  What a gift! 

It costs $10,000 to build a well and that's my goal.  I'm donating my birthday to Charity: Water. I've researched the charity and it is incredible (I encourage you to look them up too). 100% of the donations go right to the well.  So I'm asking if you will donate $40 for my 40th.  I've never raised money like this before and 10k seems like a lot.  That's why I'm starting 10 months out.  If 250 people/families donate $40, BAM, there's a well.  I know 250 people and you are one of them.  I'm hoping that on March 27th, 2017, I can transfer $10,000 out of my PayPal account and drop it into Charity: Water - and then they send me the location of the well via GPS and Google Earth and WE can see how WE have changed the lives of a village or an area.  Sounds cool right?  Give according to your means and partner with me on this opportunity to do something life-changing to a community.  Let's do this!

A different time

In the last month, two coaches from my youth have passed away: Mike Heuer and Dick Compton.  Mike coached (with a few other guys) the very first football team I played for - Kelso Merchants (6th grade) and Dick coached my baseball team in 5th and 6th grade (Elks).

I really enjoyed playing for those guys.  Both made playing and practicing a worthwhile experience.  Mike had known family members of mine long before I came along and he and I remained friends until his passing.  I hadn't seen Dick in many years, but I remember him as a slow-talking, kind hearted man.  As I got older, one thing that I really grew to appreciate about these guys is their devotion to youth sports.  Neither of these men had kids on the team when I went through.  They coached for the love of coaching and their belief that sports are important.  Those kind of guys are on the endangered list.  To coach a team, and give all that time and energy on kids who aren't yours for the sake of a community really speaks loudly of what kind of men they were.  Most teams nowadays (regular season and all-star) are headed up by a parent of a child who is on the team (or is headed up by a parent who's child's only chance of being on an all-star team is if his/her dad is the coach - but that's a post for

another time).  And there are many mom's and dad's that are good coaches, but often the parent is either way too lenient on their child or way too hard.  I imagine that you can think of more than one example of an unhealthy parent-child coaching relationship.  I can.  In my opinion, my desire for controlling what/how my kids learn sports is not worth disenfranchising them from the sport - or worse, straining my relationship with my kid. I love the model of instruction where a child learns fundamentals from someone with experience/knowledge, and then the parents support/practice/build on that knowledge and skill at home.  I also understand that where there's a need, sometimes you don't always get to choose who the coach is, so I'm also thankful for parents who step up.

I love coaching, and I like that I get paid for it - even if it's just a stipend.  But those types of guys are on a different level because they weren't paid.  It was all volunteer - for many years!  It was what they did because they believed it to be the right thing to do.  It was worth the time at practice/games and planning for them. It was worth coaching the kid who was just starting out and the kid who was athletically gifted. It was worth the second guessing from parents/fans.  It was worth the time away
from their own families. I love that.  Guys like Mike and Dick made a huge difference to me, as I'm sure they did to many kids.  It was a different time I suppose - I think.  It seems like non-parent coaches were common then, and much less now.  We need more people like them.

So let me thank all my youth sports coaches: Mr Karnofski, Mr Adams, Mr Cox, Mr Davis, Mr Hiatt, Mr Compton, Mr McGee, Mr Allred, Mr Heuer, Mr Dunlap, Mr Sundquist, Mr Morrison, and apologies to any I may have forgotten.  (It's been awhile so forgive me.)