Griswold Thanksgiving Vacation

No pictures this time, sorry.
It was bound to happen someday. The Lemiere family (me,wife,kids) had our first terrible road trip on our way to Yakima. Here's how it began:

We had some all-weather tires put on Leah's car the day before we left and as a result the car started to make a noise (wububububububububububub) and it got louder the faster we went. Turns out that when we finally checked, there were two lugnuts on a back tire that I could turn with my fingers! So once we got that taken care of, and were 45 minutes later, we hit the road. Leah was already apprehensive about going over White Pass at night because it's dark, could be icy, could be foggy, could have elk strewn about the highway that we'll have to avoid. So Leah was panic-y. Then Dash started to fuss. He was hungry and when we pulled over at a gas station, she fed him. Kaed and I ran in to use the loo, and when we got back Leah had somehow managed to set the car alarm off. I jumped in and started the car, but it was still going! So I hit the gas and got out of there like I stole it and we were literally driving down the road with the horn and lights going nuts. Dash had resumed freak-out mode, Kaed was telling Dash to be quiet, and Leah's sphincter had just tightened to DEF-CON-5. All of a sudden, the alarm stopped. So we pulled off again at the next gas station to check on Dash (in our haste of leaving the previous gas station, we thought we might have pinched him with the seatbelt or something). But as soon as the door opened, the car alarm went off again! I immediately told Leah to get the owner's manual and find "fuses" because she was about to blow one and I wanted to rip one out. But honestly, I had to laugh. So I did, and Leah swore at me. It was complete chaos in our car and we weren't but 40 minutes into the drive. Eventually, Dash cried himself into a coma, the alarm stopped (but was set to go off again as soon as the next door was opened!), and Leah had relaxed enough to ask Kaed, "You ok Kaed? Wanna kill your brother?" (I'm sure reading that looks pretty bad, but she was only jesting. I promise. Seriously.) To which Kaed replied in his infinite wisdom, "No . . . but I wanna kill myself." Thanks Kaed for the relief. The rest of the drive went off smoothly (if by smoothly I mean Leah pointed out every wildlife creature, sharp corner, passing car, snow patch, "possible" ice patch, guard rail, tunnel and cloud on the way - she never really recovered).

When we got to Yakima, the alarm did go off again, but we had passed Dash through the window to Leah's folks so it wouldn't scare him. Then we took care of the alarm situation which fortunately, did not require Leah's dad to hit the car battery with his wrench (but he was standing there ready if needed).

Thanksgiving was a success after that. Hope yours was as eventful, but in a less-stressed way. Oh, and Dash was not content with one tooth erupting; he has both bottom front teeth coming up. He's averaging one shiny chicklet penetration per 11 days and is on pace to have all teeth coming through by his first birthday. Fussy.

Big D, Little Tooth

Before I get to Dash's newest aquisition, forgive me a rant about the American Music Award's from last night. First, the goods. Every drummer that performed was great, with the exception of the Duran Duran guy. He had a rack full of drums and insisted on using a little electric drum pad for basically all of his fills. Dork. Now the bads. Jimmy Kimmel doing the "SoldierBoy" dance was pretty funny but since all the writers are still on strike, that was as humorous as it got. I was left wanting. Here's the point of my wasting 5 minutes of my life on the AMA's - Duran Duran was awful. The AMA's hyped them up and featured them late in the program (when everyone who used to like them would be in bed - right Greg Cullen?). Apparently, they're trying to make a come-back, and they should really reconsider. If you didn't see it, they really were bad. Up until last night, I kind of knew them as a decent band from the 80's. Now, my feelings of Duran Duran are the same as if Edna and the Boys got tight pants, highlights in their Grecian Formula and hit youthgroups in the greater Northwest. Yikes. You know what? I apologize to Edna and the Boys. They went out with style and grace - unlike Duran Duran. Simon LeBon must be broke.

Ok, I feel much better. Thanks.
Dash's first tooth popped up lst weekend. Next thing you he'll be driving dear old dad to his yearly physicals. Eric got him some jammies from DisneyWorld (where he was deflowered) that have Dash from the Incredibles on them - appropriate. They are 2T's and we were saving them for when he would be older. Unil we realized that he can wear them now. Maybe he's big (he's not that big), maybe they're small 2T's (likely). Anyway, they look good on him.

Time for this blog's "random Kaed quote".
"Andy, when I'm seven, can you get me an ipod. They're like, 80 bucks." When talking about money, Kaed has about as much cents sense as RainMan. He throws random numbers out with no rhyme or reason. I blame his teacher. It's always the teachers fault.

Happy travels over Thanksgiving. I love all of you guys.
Seriously. All.

And now for some more Duran Duran bashing. Here are some songs off of their new tour:

Girls on Metamucil

A View to a Crappy Band

Ordinary World Where Washed Up Bands Never Die

Notoriously Awful

And finally . . . Hungry Like a Wolf But I Gotta Mash Everything Up First Through My Strainer On Account Of Me Running Out Of Polydent So I Have To Gum It.

Tickets are on sale at a pharmacy near you.

Dash's Tricks or Doggy Treats

Dash is now .5 years old and he has grown up a lot in the last two weeks. If you prop him up, he can sit by himself now. His "weight of head" to his "weight of gut" ratio is evening out (close to 1:1) which makes balancing easier. He can also roll over. He kind of did it in accident the first time and it bugged him being on his tummy so just kept rolling. He officially was log-rolling. Genius. He went from not rolling at all to having me time him in a sprint-roll across our bed. Can't leave him alone now - not that we could anyway. (Do all babies need to be where the action is all the time, or just mine?) So far, when Dash gets a mind to do something, he does it to the nth degree. When he eats, he eats (look out Kobayashi). When he rolls, he rolls. When he grabs ladies earrings, it's like he's holding the reigns of Secretariat. When he poops . . . man is it gross. Not to get too graphic but the next time you go to Dairy Queen, watch them make your cone and imagine there's a diaper underneath it, and then let it go for about 4 minutes. There's no half-way with this kid. He's kind of Chuck Norris-esque like that. But we'll see.

Halloween was fun. Dash didn't dress up per-se', but he did have the whole Stay Puft Marshmellow Man in a diaper thing going on. His shirt did say "I Vant Your Candy!" so he was semi-festiv. Kaed was a skeleton and wanted to squirt fake blood over his face but we didn't let him. By the end of the eve he just wanted people to give him the candy without wearing the costume. I told him it defeats the whole purpose! I mean, if he didn't wear the outfit and "work" for the goods then what's the point of Halloween? If I have to sit and drive all night long so I can take half of his candy, I will, but he's got to earn his half. Life lesson: there's no freebies. (We have this deal that he gets all the little candy bars because he's little, and I get all the big ones because I'm big. It's pretty sweet.)

Oh yeah, the dogs got into the spirit of things thanks to my brother Eric. Super Murd and Bat Buster were out fighting for truth and justice with their powers of fart and slobber.

Kaed said a pretty funny thing which made a whole lot of sense to me (he does this a lot by the way and we should all learn to see things through a kid's eyes - like when he was 3 and asked me what God and Jesus looked like. After I failed miserably in my explanation he calmly said, "I think they look the same." Perfect.) Anyway, he went to church with his dad last week and he said that he saw people get "bathtized". Sure he did.

Nick and Tiffany's wedding pictures are done now and can be seen at http://daleyhake.smugmug.com/gallery/3779603#217798117 . There are around 270 of them so grab a cup of coffee and maybe your lunch too as you look through them. I can't say enough about the photographer. Good eye, that guy - and it's not even a queer eye.