Friday, September 11, 2009

Bustin Caps & Subbing For Dummies

Yesterday, my buddy Brad came up to my house with an insert from his bullet-proof vest. Guess what we did with it? Shot it. A few times. And guess what else? The tightly woven, nylon looking material stood up to both the practice rounds and the defense rounds. Awesome. Then I told Brad, "Ok, I'm going to duct-tape this thing to my chest and you shoot me from 10 yards away - just lemme finish my 7th beer here first - and KAED! GET THE VIDEO CAMERA!" Just kidding.

We also shot: an avacado (sweet), a cantelope (small entry, but blew out the back), and a cow femur (thanks Gish!). We were comparing what the differences in 9mm practice rounds vs defense rounds (hollow-point) would do to various things. Kaed and Dash watched safely from their bedroom window. They thought it was awesome, I thought it was science. But isn't science always awesome? I want on Mythbusters!

Here's an old story out of the "dumb things Andy has done" file. Let me preface it with this: a couple days ago one of our asst. principals sent an email out reminding teachers of a fire drill we'd be having the next day. One of our teachers replied to him that the drill was during her prep period and she'd be pumping at that time (she's a new mom). But, on accident she hit the "reply all" icon and let everyone in the building know that she'd be breastpumping during the fire drill. Yes, she was mortified. Anyway, that reminded me of a time a few years ago when I called a buddy of mine to substitute for me at school. The deal was that teachers could call in a sub on the district sub-line, could request specific subs, and leave messages for them. Well, I called Ryan to sub for me and left a message that was only supposed to be heard by him... My message consisted of a lot of heavy breathing and me saying something like, "I want you to work for me," in a disguised voice. Nothing terribly innappropriate, but unfortunately for me, Ryan couldn't take the job - so the message circulated through the entire sub system! I had no idea until I got called to the main office during class. When I walked into the office our head secretary was nearly in tears from laughing, the principal too, and the other secretary, and the ASB secretary and 2 other teachers - because our head secretary had played and replayed it over and over (she will remain nameless but her name rhymes with Mellen Skreet)... I felt pretty dumb, but was glad everyone was laughing about it instead of firing me.

5 comments:

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emily said...

Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh :)

Me..... said...

that is hysterical!

Anonymous said...

Good laughs bro. I will think twice before eating a fruit salad at your house though, because who knows how many cantelopes you had to blow up to fill up a bowl.

N.

Wendy said...

lol... I feel less stupid now... ;-)