2 boys, 2 stories

Oh man. Last night was our footbal banquet so I was in a shirt and tie looking nice. I was up at my folks saying bye to the boys and Dash was sitting on my lap. I hung around as long as I could knowing that I'd probably get done well after the boys had gone to bed. So when it came time to leave I took Dash off my lap (*sigh*) . . . and he had peed all over my thigh. You see, we are potty training him and he was in underwear and not a diaper. (According to mom, "he'd been good all day"...) Right through his skivvys, right through his sweats, and right through my khaki slacks. I had no chance to change either. So I went to the banquet with a pee-thigh. The best and worst part of it was that Dash kept smiling and pointing at my leg saying "ee-ee?" It was like he peed on the upper part of my thigh on purpose and then was making fun of me like I peed my pants. What concerns me is that he might actually be smart enough to pull that prank off. Like in his mind "no big deal if I wet myself, but big deal if daddy does . . . right before the banquet!" He's been unusually cuddly with me lately and now I know that he's just been roping me in...

Because Dash is frequently making memories with his learning, I don't often write about Kaed. Or at least my Kaed stories are much fewer than Dash's. Not so today. Kaed's homework last night was to write his top ten favorite dinners. Kaed's definitely at the stage of spelling things incorrectly, but phonetically accurate. There were many times when Dad (who taught elementary for 30+ yrs) would show us some pretty funny spellings of words. Last night it was Kaed's turn. I'll give his spelling with what he actually meant in case you can't see the pictures:

1. "spugede" - spagetti

2. "chickin nugits"

3. "make donalds" - McDonalds

4. "staeck" - steak

5. "grill chees" - grilled cheese

6. "wotermelon" - watermelon

7. "strawberries"

8. "chickin"

9. "orgejello" - orange jello (classic backward J)

10. "beef strogonoff" - he had some help with that one

Leah went to the doctor today to see if she has an ulcer (bummer). The trip overall was uneventful, except that she had a Fletch moment ("moon-river" . . . geez doc, got your whole fist in there?) and feels eternally violated. I told her it's just part of getting old.

Experiential based learning

Last night I turned my back on Dash for just a moment . . . he went into the bathroom, took a bottle of hairspray off the counter and hairsprayed the right side of his head. I saw him walking out of the bathroom and he was running his hand over his head (imagine Pat Riley). His head was very sticky.

Since we've begun the potty training, Dash has also picked up on pee-pee and poo-poo ("ee-ee" and "po-po")

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.

Thoughts for this week...

1. I have good friends. I mean really good friends.

2. I just read Tony Dungy's memior and it is awesome. Especially if you've ever coached or ever loved the NFL. I have the upmost respect for him. As a result, I'm re-reading it and then sharing it with my football coaching buddies as a sort of witness.

3. I'm convinced that any beverage that's advertised as "flavored water" and is "healthy" is a complete and utter scam. I think it's the beverage companies trying to screw with us. I'm sure of it. "Hey, lets water-down our current drinks, remove their color (or not), and disguise this crappy drink as a refreshing, healthy flavored water." I've been let down too many times. The only good water, is water.

4. Little Dashal is a funny kid. 5 minutes with him will always be memorable.

5. Kaed is really growing up.

6. I am content with 2 kids. So is Leah. If I had to guess, we're done having any more kids. But,

7. After having a losing season in football, I am still suprised at who seems to think that our coaches play people who have the "right last name" instead of the best players. Some parents/fans are delusional. I mean down-right Nurse Ratchet off the reservation.

8. High-5's are extremely underrated in every day settings.

9. Why is it that some people just know how to hug?

10. We haven't had television since the end of June and I think it's great whereas Leah is going crazy.

11. Here's a secret message for you, from me. You have to copy and paste it to a word document and redo the font into a non-intelligible font: Be sure to drink your Ovaltine! You'd really have to "get" me to think that it's funny. I hope you do.

I went to the beach and all I caught was crabs.

Lots of crabs. Between the four of us, we caught 100 crabs. A few of the football coaches and I went down to Ft.Stevens (south of Astoria) last weekend and did a little crabbing. It was my first time and I'm hoping it won't be my last. It was awesome! My hands are raw though. I didn't have gloves on and cleaning them can hurt - especially if you get pinched by the big claws (and I did). When I came home I made some crab alfredo for Leah and it was great. I think I'm going to ask for a boat and crab pots for Christmas.

I'm starting the flooring this week at the new pad. Pray for my house.

Hallow's Eve . . .

Boy oh boy has there been a lot going on lately. First off, I've got another cyst on my tailbone. Yes, it hurts like a son-of-a-gun, and before you ask "What the heck did he tell us that for?!", I want to take this opportunity to remind all followers of this blog how integral those butt cysts have been to our lives. That's right, OUR lives. In the days before this blog (B.B.) I'd send out an email to many that would periodically update those of you whom I don't see often about what's up with the Lemiere's. I also did this before marriage (B.M.). I think I did them tri-annually (from a secret Rocky Mountain location) and they were lengthy. But it wasn't until I emailed some folks about my "assist" that I received an overwhelming response from you all. Lest we forget when through my cyst ordeals I found out tha Maxi-pads have a sticky side - and that the sticky side goes on your underwear? I think we all learned something after that email. Ultimately, this blog is a direct result of much emailing back and forth stemming from my crack.

You are welcome.

Sorry, no picture.

Dash and Kaed will be hitting the streets tonight for a little treating. Dash will either be Mickey mouse or Dash from the Incredibles. We haven't decided yet, but he is facinated with Mickey's gloves. Kaed is something that I have no idea what it is. All I know is that it comes with a cool sword. We'll see how it goes. I will not be in attendance because our last football game is tonight. Good luck Leah.

Kelso High School's Homecoming assembly is the most fun assembly of the year. Along with the selection of the Homecoming princesses, there's the sexy leg contest (where various people put bags over their heads and show off their legs - Nice job Bryce French), the traditional Fling, and the much anticipated class-competition lip-sync. The teacher's haven't put one together for a couple years but we did this year and man, the gym was LOUD. I have never heard the gym so loud when we ended our version of WalkThisWay. Yah, I was in it. Yes, I was Steven Tyler. And I got goosebumps listening to all the cheering. The teacher's nailed it, and there was much rejoicing. Some kid put it on YouTube so if you punch in "kelso high school staff" I think it'll take you to it. Am I proud of it? Yah, a little bit.

Painting is done at the house and the cabinets have been installed. All that is left are: fixtures, countertops, floors, and deck. We'll be in by Christmas.
By the way, if any of you have some extra cash laying around, we'd be happy to use it for you. We'll even come and pick it up.

Repaint, Repaint and Thin No More!

We've just about completed painting the outside of the house and it looks good! Dad sprayed the interior trim with an oil-based paint for the first time this weekend and it turned out really nicely. He only had one mis-hap: he sprayed his face on accident which after he scrubbed his face (and by face I mean his eyes) with thinner, his face was like a reverse racoon with white paint.
[If you're asking yourself "how did Randy accidentally spray himself in the eyes?" Well, it's very similar to how Bugs Bunny would turn Elmer Fudd's gun around onto himself at the last second and he'd end up shooting himself in the face. Same kind of deal. Except he did it all on his own.]
I probably won't be updating the blog much in the next few weeks as I'll be painting and putting floors in. But here's a "Dash's words" update: bye, grandma (a very clear GaMa), grandpa (PoPa), and cracker (kaka). I think he uses the same word for Kaed and keys - it's a very hard, Germanic "ch" (like "ck") that comes from the back of his throat.
Later dudes.

Ramble on, sing my song.

The Deep Thoughts for this month are killing me! They change every month.

Today, one of the football players told me I look like Mathew McConaghy from the movie We Are Marshall. I thought that was pretty cool because he's a good looking, charismatic guy. Turns out, he said that because he thought my shirt was from the 70's. It's not. Buttface.

In a few of my Algebra classes, we've watched a few videos online from Discovery (as in the channel). They are functional and outdated/cheesy and the kids like to listen to someone else from time to time. But I got to thinking that I should make some videos of my own. I'm pretty sure they'd be WAY better than the ones we've watched. Math videos are only instructional, and very rarely fun or funny - at least not on purpose. Who wants to make some math instructional videos with me?

So, if there was any doubt about little Dash being my son (there wasn't any was there?) let me put this issue to bed once and for all. Back-story: for those that knew me as a child, I had a blankie. This blanky had a specific corner with a little flower on it that I insisted on chewing on. I would not be content until I had had my specific corner (or "corn" as I would call it) in my mouth. Fast-forward to little Dash. On Dash's blanket, all 4 corners look the same. But when he is feeling cuddly or tired and he drags his blanket out, he fumbles around it until he finds a corner of his blanket and will either play with it or suck on it. It absolutely blows my mind. I mean seriously, how crazy is that? I'm actually kind of freaked out because on the one hand, it's cool that he's kind of a little Andy, but is also scary that he's kind of a little Andy...

I swear I could watch this video 24-7. When Dash says "Dada" . . . I see Heaven in that boy. (And he does some of his best work in the tub in case you haven't noticed.)

More new words . . . that are actully words

So how does everybody like the new add-ons to the blog? I have added a picture up top (me golfing in AZ - pretty much perfect form...) and some Deep Thoughts on the side. I love a good Deep Thought.

Little Dash now says grandma and grandpa in respect to my folks (gama and yaya!). For some reason he says YAYA! loudly. It's probably because he's commanding my dad to do something - and my dad always complies. Always. We've also got him doing sign language. He does "more" and "please" and it's very cute.

Kaed is a ball boy for Kelso's JV football team this year. He LOVES it. He's good at it too. The house latest is: we have insulation, siding and sheetrock. Man that was quick. We picked out our light fixtures too. I hope we got good stuff because in the light store there was a tv with the Ryder Cup on. I was distracted. I did manage to select the ceiling fan - Leah hates it but I'm not hot about the entry-way chandalier she picked out. It's called "compromise" everybody. But the ceiling fan is cool. She doesn't like it because it "looks like an airplane propeller" and I like it because "IT LOOKS LIKE AN AIRPLANE PROPELLER". I'm sure it will be source of arguement for the next rest of our lives, much like the lamp/"major award" in A Christmas Story. Enjoy the vids. Especially the last one!

7 on the 7th

Kaed is now 7. We had a birthday party for him and it consisted of my family and Jon's family. Pretty fun. He got RockBand (for Wii) and I'm slaying crowds left and right. Kaed is absolutely brutal at the drums (me too), but I think he's just about ready for medium on guitar. Kaed also got a skateboard and helmet. He's practiced on it 3 out of the last 4 days and its pretty cute. When he opened this gift, Kaed immediately put the board down and began to get his helmet on and adjusted to his head. Well, in that span of 20 seconds, Dash got on the skateboard and started to pseudo-jump on it. Crazy kid.
Dash has just enough fuzz on his melon to constitute a do'. I've actually hairsprayed a few spikes on top. The back seems to be flourishing though. I guess I can put to bed the "still bald" remark. The hair era has begun for the Dashster. Finally.
Leah and I have finally put to rest the debate of whether or not some of her "words" are actually words. The final score is that "drenching" is a word, but to say that "I'm drenching wet" would be a mis-usage of the word. "Pronunciate" however, is not. It is a conjugation of Pronounce, and Enunciate. And I probably mispelled them, and others, in this blog. Last night, Kaed threw a new word in the mix. He was describing something to be more narrow and said "thinnier". I like it.
I've told some people this already but the shower at my Grandma Doris's house (where we are currently living) is SMALL. I'm eye-level with the nozzle and the water hits me in the tummy. To get anything above my chest wet, I have to do a deep knee-bend. The whole time I'm washing my hair I'm squatting which is problematic because my butt will bump the shower door open. Issue-ous. It's quite the comedy of errors - especially that first week.
Dad and I will be painting the new house this weekend! Not all of the siding is up yet, but we're going to use the scaffolding the siders have while it's still up.

Back to School

Now that we're back in school, I can keep the blog up and running! (No internet at home) This blog is going to jump around a little due to summarizing the summer in a few short paragraphs. That said . . .
Our house has really taken off in the last month and a half. Roof, windows, plumbing, wiring, septic, all done. siding and gutters this week and insulation to follow shortly thereafter. It's cool to watch it all happen.
Kaed starts 1st grade and his teacher is a girl I used to ride the bus to school with. That's kind of weird. We got Guitar Hero "Aerosmith" this summer and Kaed has really embraced his inner Joe Perry. What is classic is that he absolutely hammers the lyrics because he's too busy playing the guitar. For example, Sweet Emotion has become "sweet ocean". Dream On is "dream long". And my personal favorite, Train Kept a Rollin' (All Night Long) is now "free pepparoni, all night long". What?!
Dash is less a baby, more a punk. But he has a large sweet side to him too. He's very Yin to Kaed's Yang. Kaed asks for something if he wants it, whereas Dash will pick it up and chuck it just because it's there. He still has the same vocabulary that he's had for the last 5 months, but he knows much about the world around him. He's darn-near potty trained. I'm not lying. If you get him there, he'll go. He loves to throw his diapers away too. It's weird.
That's all I have for now. I'll be getting some new pics and vids on here very soon.
P.S.
What are your thoughts about necrophilliacs? I know I wouldn't be caught dead with one...

Amazingness

So with gas prices as crazy as they are, I found it particularly amazing that I had a "perfect pump" a couple weeks ago. [for those of you who don't know what a perfect pump is, it's when you try to pump the gas to your dollar amount and stopping on the amount perfectly - without going over or needing a couple quick pumps] I nailed $20 and other pumpers at the station saw a 31 year old man say "oh yeah!" With gas being $4.53 per, the dials are spinning so fast that the degree of difficulty must be at least at a 3.9-4.1

I'm beginning to find irony in the fact that I named my son something that rhymes with 'crash', 'bash', and 'mash'. HE IS INTO EVERYTHING! - and usually head first. There is a constant bruise on his forehead which makes me think it's going to: A) take a long time learning his times-tables, or B) be the toughest skull this side of the Mississippi. Maybe both.

Leah's dad turned 60 today. Big time. Kaed turns 7 in Sept. You know how when you're a kid (or have kids) birthday parties are themed? With Kaed and Dash, we've had Cars, Spiderman, Shrek and others. My question is 'why doesn't continue when you're older?' But associate it with the number of your age. For example, next year, Leah's dad could have a Roger Maris themed birthday (*61). Next year I could have Charles Barkley (for the Sixers) or an FDR/stock market crash/Great Depression theme (32). Sounds fun huh?

Our concrete has been poured and the framing starts this week. Now for the fun part!

The Hill

I'm sorry but I have to make it quick because I have much to report. We poured our foundation this week! (see vid)

4th of July was great at the Johnson's. We traded our Wii for Ed and Terry's xbox 360 for a few weeks and it's been great for everybody. I've been playing Halo 3, Guitar Hero III, and Call of Duty 3 non stop. Awesome. I made mii's for all the cousins and they look fantastic.

Dash has been a full-time walker for about 3 weeks now and he's is very much like Godzilla wreaking havoc on the fair streets of Tokyo in our living room. Ugh. Keep the valuables above 3'6" please.

We moved into my grandma Doris's house a week and a half ago and it's been a very convieneint move. I like that it's familiar and I get to go through my grandpa Oscar's old football and Marines stuff, but I don't like the leftover cat dander (allergies...) and mothball smell.

Class of 08'

This year is the 100th graduating class at Kelso High school so we invited a class member from each class to represent each year at graduation. Of course we didn't have someone from every class, but we did have 76 classes represented - which was cool. The oldest was a 100 year old lady from the class of 1927. Mom represented 1973 and I, 1995. We got to talking and we figured that our family (including those who married in like Elten and Amber) of Nordstrom's, Groce's, and Lemiere's could represent about 25 years or so by ourselves. Not bad.
During any graduation ceremony, optimism is at an all-time high. You should hear the laundry list of projected majors these kids think they're going to do. I'll bet very few of them go "pre-med" and actually go into "pre-heat the grill cuz the fries are about up". Ahh youth. So innocent and naieve. . . As I sat next to the representatives from the classes of 1992-1997 and looked at the class of 2008, I couldn't help but think, "Yes, you too can gain 30 lbs."

Dash is about 50-50 walk/crawl now and it's pretty cute. (see video) Kaed gave me a Father's Day card he made at school. It is totally sweet. He's been getting good feedback on his shaved head too. Which is nice. For Father's Day, Dash and I ate a sleeve of Saltine crackers while watching the US Open. He also napped in my lap while I napped on my chair. It was great. Tiger Woods is great.

Wanna see a 1 year old stuff a cracker down his throat in one bite?

Still . . . um, bald . . .

What do you get when you cross a dad? A bald kid. Kaed's really been acting up lately. Time-outs, spankings, no t.v. just haven't been working. So since he's pretty self-concious about his appearance, I shaved his head. Good idea huh?! He hates it. You should have heard him cry. He'll get over it though....

I'M JUST KIDDING!

Kaed really wanted me to shave his head so all of you just calm down. That would be pretty harsh to do that to a kid. But I wil say this - Leah isn't wild about it. Dash has more hair than Kaed now. No lie. I took my face shaver and did the sides of his head so there is nothing there. Which really brings out his skinniness. Here's where I would normally make my Holocaust survivor joke, but I think I've been insensitive enough for one post. He loves it though. And so do I. Eric thinks he looks older.

And just like that . . .

. . . the digging stopped. We broke ground on Monday (see pic) and on Tuesday, we stopped. It rained for one, and the footings at one corner of our basement need to be re-engineered because they'll have to be bigger than originally thought. (*sigh*)

Leah and I had our 3rd anniversary this week. Let me tell you how this young couple painted the city of Longview red: we got our friends (Brad and Tiffany Phillips) to watch the boys, ans we went and saw the new Indian Jones movie(it was ok). No dinner, no gifts, no making out in the theatre. If any of these 3 things would have happened in our first year, we just wouldn't have made it. My how things have changed... It was almost 10pm when we picked up the boys and Dash was still going strong, Kaed was sleeping. Dash loves Brad. He just does. Allegedly, they just sat and head-butted each other for most of the evening. He hangs with guys so much better than with girls. A real "man's man". And no, he's never seen a gladiator movie (Airplane anyone . . .).

Kaed's rookie season ended last weekend and alas, I rejoice. He had a great season, the team was fun, coaching was good, but he and I (and Leah and Jon) were ready for it to be done. Central Baseball was a great experience, I guess, and am looking forward him to play in Kelso next year - where every kid's dad thinks he's going pro. (we did just have a kid get drafted in the 4th round this week) I'm sure it will be even more ridiculous. Can't wait.

So Leah and I rented "P.S. I love you" last week - because we always watch movies that I like... And let me save you a few dollars and a box of tissues when I say, "DON'T WATCH IT!" Holy moly. Hillary Swank's husband dies young from a tumor, but sets up a way for her to receive letters from him for up to a year after he dies. As good as this movie is at times, his death hangs over every moment of the movie so you almost feel bad when something is funny. Anyway, I was a mess. And it wasn't even that good. Oh, and Leah didn't watch it.

String of Pearls and a Little Brown Jug

So on one of the days I stayed home to tend to sicknesses, I got locked into "The Glenn Miller Story" portrayed by Jimmy Stewart on AMC. Part way through it I called my dad up just to see what he was up to and I told him what I was watching. He says, "Really? Sounds like a classic. Too bad he died in a plane crash huh? . . . " Thanks dad, I hadn't gotten to that part and no, I didn't know that. So that got me thinking of how dad could have ruined bigger movie endings in my life that would have been 10x more upsetting. Here's my list:
1. Vader is Luke's dad and Leia is his twin sister.
2. Rosebud is his sled.
3. The guy laying there the whole time is alive. (Saw)
4. Just read the bullitein board in the cop's office (Usual suspects)
5. Incrediboy is Syndrome
Those are just the ones I could think of in the 2 minutes I had. But a decent list. Let me know if you have some good suggestions. Oh, and I bought the best of Glen Miller.

Turns out, we're not breaking ground until next Thursday. Bummer.

And finally, the Dash showing off his aggressive behaviors in one 30 second clip: playfulness, dancing, clapping, head-butting, hitting and laughing.

Bu-sy!

Over the last 2weeks of work, I've been in class a total of 4 days! That's 40%. I had one day out for a math inservice, 2 sick days (Dash is ill), and 3 days for regional and state track meets. Now Leah is sick too. My head is spinning from all the stuff.

(*And I've probably had about 12 hot dogs in the last 5 days too, but that's another story*)

So I borrowed Guitar Hero from a buddy and I've been wailing on it lately. I can pretty much give my own 1-man show now . . . on medium. Hard is, well, hard. And when Eric came over and killed about 5 songs on "expert", that's when I decided that I was done trying to get good. I'm not and won't ever be. Stupid Eric.

We are breaking ground on our house this week!!!!!!!!!! Pray for it and for the sickness floating around in our home. Thanks guys.

#1 - on a few levels...

Before I get into it here, Dash ate 3 cinnamon rolls this morning. I can't even do that. And each time you put something new on his plate, he takes one bite and goes, "mmMMMMmmm!" Every time. It doesn't get old either.

Speaking of old, Dash turned the Big One last week and we celebrated it with Mother's Day! Much family, much fun. He's very close to walking now (we took a vote at the party and we believe that he took his first step - he kind of did) and has been finally saying Mamma and Dadda. The kid is learning. Exponentially. I won't go so far as to say he's a genius, but he's Einsteinian-esque. He knows what to do with the guitar now. Awesome. He knows how to comb his head - because he's still bald. He knows that if you push my nose, it makes a noise. He knows to dance when the music turns up (see video below). He knows how to love. He knows that if he increases his volume, he's more likely to get his way. He pees EVERY time he's put on the toilet. And somewhere along the way, he's figured out what to do with toilet paper (I have a video of this, but I'm having trouble loading it up...). Granted, it's basic application, but it is an understanding nonetheless.

Kaed's baseball season is nearing it's end - to which Leah and I say "Hooray!" I love that Kaed loves baseball and does well in a league of older kids, but I don't love the level of seriousness in which everyone else seems to be taking with their league. I could have killed a coach/mom last week. She basically accused me/us of cheating. I felt like sending some "chin-music" her direction with the pitching machine. Classic "that-mom" at the ballpark: loud, negative, unrealistically and overly competative in an unnecessary environment, and can tell you each player's statistics on her team. She yells for the infield to "move-up" when a weaker hitter is at bat. Seriously, if this season doesn't end soon, I might be doing a nickle in Walla-Walla and looking forward to congical visits.

That said, I have the best wife imaginable. She'd understand. Happy Mother's Day to all mom's.

Building permits have passed, roads have been put in and the Lemiere's will be breaking ground as early as the end of the week! If you should happen to remember, pray for our ground. Big rocks suck.

Banner Day

On Friday, Dash pooped in the toilet. My mom noticed he was turning red sitting on the carpet, and kind of farting, so she thought what the heck and put him on the toilet (with the little adapter seat) and wham-o. #1, and #2 successfully completed. I wouldn't get too worked up about it though, he pooped in the tub later that night.

Busy Times

I haven't posted in a bit because of the hectic pace at which I live my life. School, baseball - Kaed, track meets, house stuff, Dash turning 1 in seven days, etc. It's all flying by! By the way, Kaed has been hitting the heck out of the ball ever since his game 1 "o-fer". I won't post a serious post until after Dash's birthday (7th), but until then, here's three vids. Dash licking the window on our screen door, moving some dirt up on the hill, and Dash and great-aunt Dodie slipping some skin. For some reason, Dash loved giving her 5's. Just the quick ones though, not the big wind-uppers.

Leah Kaed and Dash News

Over Spring break, Leah read my blog (it's only the second time she's seen it). She was a little concerned as to why I hadn't said anything about the conditioner bottle. I didn't have a good response. She also thinks that I write this blog so I can make fun of her. Do you think I make fun of Leah on this? I don't think so. Sometimes our lives are funny and I share it here. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. She did say that someday she'd start her own blog just to get back at me and I can't wait.
Kaed has been coming up with some great words lately! Learning to read has expanded his vocabulary noticeably, but the way he says some of the words crack me up. For example, "callipiller", as in "eventually that callipiller will turn into a butterfly". One other, "renember", as in "oh, now I renember". And if he's not careful, he still will call an M&M a "lemalem". The best one lately is trying to say Portland Trailblazer Joel Pryzbilla's name. He just calls him Prince Phillip - but that's what he actually thinks his name is. Joel Prince Phillip. But he's becoming quite the little young man. His "rookie"-league baseball season has started and it's going ok. He's had some trouble hitting the ball off a machine, but can still field and throw pretty dang good. Most importantly, he's having a lot of fun. Here's a video of Kaed and Dash playing the piano. Kaed is laying down some chords, while Dash is flavoring it up with some jazz fills. Watch his fingers do the talking.


Dash is 11 months old and here's a quick list of words/actions he's able to do in his brief career thus: says "dog", "ball", and "what's that". Rolls over, monkey crawls - still, pulls self up, and walks with help. Eats all foods. Drinks with cup or sippy cup. Points at things very, very well (seriously, he's a great pointer). Has 8 teeth - 4 up, 4 down. Laughs at own farts. Is ticklish in armpits and thighs. Has difficulty in growing hair. Answers phone (or he'll answer a remote if it's in his hand). Plays patty-cake and "so-big". Dances to music and loves all noise-making things. Can imitate most mono-syllabic noises - which is a very fun game. He just learned to give 5's. And most important, he LOVES his dad. Here's a vid of him answering a cell phone:

And did I mention that he goes upstairs, but only for specific reasons.

I posted another blog just prior to this one about golfing over Spring break below this one.

FORE!!!!!!!!

Forgive me guys, it's been 3 weeks since my last confession, I mean post. Here's a quick run-down on my spring break in Phoenix: It was good.

Moving along.

Ok, I'll give a little more detail, but I want to get to some pictures. The weather was 82-86 all week, we golfed some fantastic courses, saw the Sanchez fam, didn't see any snakes, my right hand got sunburned (left was wearing a glove), flew over the Grand Canyon (check that off the Bucket list), found about 20 golfballs at the nicest course I've ever played - WeKoPa (rich dudes don't like to hunt for their balls), and I golfed pretty good - for me. I'm about a Bogey golfer, which means I average about one dumb shot per hole. Not that the other shots on each hole are stellar, but usually one dumb one that makes the hole's difficulty much harder.
Now to golf pictures: (my flawless swing, a par 3 and par 4 at Johnson Ranch, a par 3 at Poston Butte, putting at Kokopelli, a par 5 at WeKoPa, and a suprise...)

It's probably for the best that Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Ron met later in life. Cousin "Rondor" would have had some issues.

YouTube, BabyOragel, 31 & Spring Break

Before I get to the links, I just want to mention 2 things. First, I read The Sports Guy on espn.com and he will occassionally list links that he's visited that he enjoyed so I'm kind of doing the same thing by plagerizing his idea. Second, and this is for the guys who read this, but do you guys ever take issue with the inordinate number of shampoo/conditioner/face-cleanser/exfoliator/make-up-remover/shaving-cream/shaving-lotion/haircare bottles in the shower? I have one - shampoo. Kaed has one - shampoo. Dash has one - shampoo/baby soap (he doesn't really need a bottle for shampoo because we're basically making his scalp smell good). Leah has like, 12. And you know what? I'm ok with that. Really. I don't mind except one little thing. Her conditioner bottle (which is huge) has a pump-dispenser that is equally huge. It sits on a shelf that is hip-high to me and I've been poked by it a number of times. But still, that is not the issue. The issue is that whenever I bend down to pick something up off the tub floor (like Dash), or bend to dry my legs/feet off, I'm in danger of a conditioner-insertion of the SanFran red-light district variety. I've been goosed by that dumb thing more times than I care to admit. I've yet to tell Leah (picking my battles) but I've had it. That stupid pump just about put through the roof when I had my cyst (did I ever tell you guys about that . . .). Anyway, there's my rant, and here are some key-words to type in on youtube.com:

1. "vadrum super mario 2"

2. "flute mario" - guy looks like a dweeb but it's funny

3. "killer whale kayak"

4. "cat ceiling fan" - I hate cats

5. "stevie wonder drum solo"

6. "shawn kemp top 10 dunks"

That should keep you busy for a few minutes. Enjoy.

Young Dashal is cutting 4 teeth right now and he's a little crabby. We've got the baby Oragel gum-number stuff and just for fun, my mom and I rubbed some on our gums - just to check it out. Mom couldn't stop laughing because it felt so weird. Me too.

I turn 31 on the 27th... That just sounded a lot older to me right then. So for my birthday I'm going to Phoenix to golf with my father-in-law (Vaughn) and a brother-in-law (Joel). Should be fun.

10 months and an Oyster Shooter

Dash is 10 months old now. I don't know what that means other than that little turd is making a strong case for "the best thing to happen to Andy". I mean, he's up there with: getting saved, getting Leah and Kaed, and cheesebread. And I am very pleased to report that little Dash has aquired his father's love for all things cheese. Very proud. Very little hair.

We tried again this Sunday with Dash and the church nursery. It went a little better - I didn't get called back once - but he still gave me that look of "daddy, why are you leaving me-don't you love me anymore?" and it kills me. He ended up passing out on some guy's shoulder from crying so hard. Allegedly. I wouldn't have been suprised if one of the nursery workers said, "Forget this kid, get the NyQuill."

Which reminds me; in my life there are two things that I've created (both with help), that I'm proud of, that are cool and measurable (can you tell it is state assessment time?). Dash and my pumphouse.

Leah and I had a "date night" in which we spent the better part of our day in Portland taking back a pair of pants that Leah got me for Christmas. It's well documented that I'm not a huge fan of shopping, even when it's for me. The shopping part of the day was ok until Leah had me turning around and grabbing the waist of some jeans I put on. I told her to knock it off because that's what my mom used to do, when I was 10, and I hated it then too. I'm 30 now, and capable of determining whether or not my pants fit (JUST TELL ME IF YOU LIKE THEM!). I immediately flashed back to mom grabbing the crotch of my pants and exclaiming, "Plenty of room in there!" Ugh. . . Leah got mad at me for the "mom" comment and stormed (yes, she stormed) into a women's store. Apparently I'm not very fun to shop with.

So then we celebrated that fiasco with a little dinner at Beaches on the river. We started off by going outside of our comfort zones, got a little crazy, and ordered 2 oyster shooters. I'm always game for different foods and there's rumor of oysters being an aphrodesiac . . . I couldn't have been more wrong. I didn't think mine was completely disgusting, but I probably won't ever get another one. Leah however . . . almost started crying. I'm not kidding. And she only had part of it (she swears she ate the oyster anus - which is a suprisingly fun thing to say "oyster-anus"). I'm not sure that Leah wants another date night for awhile.

Here's a phone video I took of Kaed doing jumping jacks and Dash saying Ball:

Now I am the Master.

Got my Master's Degree done. Nothing like taking a 2-year program and stretching it into 4 . . . (somewhere David Spade is saying, "Yah, they're called doctor's.") It's a big weight off my shoulders and a little more money in my pocket - and they'll let me keep my job.

So we went to church this last weekend and put Dash in the nursery for the first time. Any idea of how he did? Anyone? . . . . There were 3 babies and one lady working the nursery. The whole thing broke my heart. After I dropped him off I waited and peeked through a window. I had him playing with a toy and he seemed content when I left. But then he kind of looked around with that "where's dad?" look on his face and I could see the bottom lip starting to stick out... so I jumped back in the room and held him and said, "Daddy's here little buddy, and I'll never leave you ever again. Not ever!" . . . Well, not exactly like that, but he did calm down and I went into the sanctuary. After about 15 minutes, his number flashed up near the projector screen so I went back to calm him down. He was crying, and actually all three babies were crying, but I was the only parent who got called? Picking on the new kid. I guess one started crying and the other two cried along too - for moral support. I don't know who started crying first, but Dash was crying last (he likes to win). Again, I got him chilled out and went back to the sanctuary. 20 minutes later, his number flashed up again, so I went back again. He was quite a site. He was in a high chair trying to catch his breath from excessive crying and in between sobs, he was cramming fist-fuls of Cheerios down his mouth. He was actually ok, but he threw a fit when the worker lady walked into the next room to get him a diaper and Dash thought she left him. At that point, I just took him with me and he was fine for the rest of service. Poor little bald guy.

Dash went to the Doctor's yesterday and he's lost weight, which is incredible considering the volume of food he eats - constantly. He lost a pound the same week he ate an entire piece of Hawaiian pizza! (And it wasn't one of those skinny slices either, it was legit.) What a funny kid.

Kaed has "rookies" tryouts tonight for baseball. Weird that he has to tryout for a pitching machine league. The whole thing is crazy if you ask me. (The picture is from last spring)

Smells like baseball!

Dash eats all the time. ALL THE TIME. He's still got those 4 teeth (2 top, 2 bottom) and he'll heat everything he can get his hands on. Granola bars, fruit, cookies, pasta - loves that, and he gets ticked if you eat something and he doesn't. He's also pooping 2-3 times a day - which is a big turn-around from from the twice a week routine he was on. And it's not a "oh he pooped!" job anymore. It's a "Holy Crap! (*gag*) Dash you're gross! (*gag*)" poop. The degree of difficulty for changing him has increased as well. Along with poo, he absolutely refuses to lie still while changing - which at times can leave him looking like he just mud-wrestled his way across our bed... And he'll wave at you as he does it. Still bald.
Kaed wrapped up his hoop season last week and it was a success. I hope he sticks with it. Baseball season is next, and he wants to do it, but this year he gets the pitching machine and not a tee. And since our address hasn't officially changed to Kelso yet (still waiting on approval of building plans from the county...) we're back at Central Baseball for one more year. I know I've elluded to this before, but the "powers that be" at Central have a real unique gift of tobacco manipulation. Of course there are numerous signs posted that tobacco use is prohibited at the ball park, but there are three levels of blantant disregard of said rule:
1. The "Screw it, I'm chewin'" guys. These guys (haven't noticed any women in this category, but that doesn't mean there not out there) are few, fortunately, but the dip-wad in their cheek is golf ball-esque. Stains optional.
2. The "Iron-gut-ers". These guys take small pinches in their lip and swallow the evidence - in case anyone is checking.
3. The "Passive-Aggressive Parent". They know they shouldn't smoke or chew on the grounds, so instead of waiting and hour or so until the game ends, they just stand in the street and puff/spit. These parents are literally, 10 feet away from bleachers, and feel like everything is a-ok. But that leads me to the following dillemma: What would I rather smell? Cig-smoke? B-O? The mill (it's right there)? Hmm. At Central you get all of them, with a slight hint of corndog.

Track started for me this week and I'll have some pretty good pole-vaulters for boys and girls. I'm also in my last week of my Master's Degree. Thank goodness. One assignment left.

Odds/Ends

It's Nick's birthday yesterday. 29. I can't even begin to tell him what he has to look forward too..

At dinner, we let Kaed say the prayer for the meal. He wanted to do it a long time ago and it's stuck ever since. So the dinner prayer has gone somthing like this:

"Dear Jesus, I hope I have a good time. I hope I have a good day. I hope mommy has a good day. I hope Dash doesn't cry. I hope I have a good dinner. I hope I have enough ranch for my carrots. Um... I hope I can play the Wii StarWarsLegos when I'm done, um, . . . I hope I have a good time. Jesus-name-amen."

Every dinner. Every night. With little variance. Sometimes you can switch the wii or ranch comments with "i hope I have a good practice". Very hopeful child.

Dash has increased his vocabulary 100%. Along with "wuthat" (which I'm counting as 2 words) he says ball and dog. "Buh" and "daw". Still bald. His step-crawl thing is getting quicker but seems to be having a tough transition from carpet to smooth surfaces. it never fails that once he gets on a smooth surface (after being on carpet) he wipes out and his face hits the floor. We're working on it.

Stationary Target goes Mobile.

Yep. He crawled last night for the first time. We had FCA at mom and dad's, snow was falling, Dash was in a onesy and he started making a move for Buster and Murdok. He absolutely loves the dogs. I even think he's says "dog", mom too, but it's more like "Doh" (but not like Homer). I captured it on my cell phone and sent it to a few people (let me know if you want me to send it to you - I can't figure out how to email it to me so I could upload it here). He was loving it.
He kind of has his left knee on the ground at all times and steps with his right leg. Dad thinks he's in a sprinter's stance, but whatever he's doing it is working and looks funny.

Dash's first wordS.

Leah, my folks and I cam to an agreement 2 weeks ago. Dash's first words are indeed "What's that?" It's always a whisper, it's always after a noise or new thing. He has skipped saying his first word and gone straight to first sentence. He turns 9 months this week (thurs). Genius. Still bald.

6 yr. old bball

Here's a few pics of Kaed in year #1 of his basketball saga...

Run and Gun

Kaed has started his first year of basketball! We had his first games last weekend and here are a few of my observations:

1. This is waaaaayyyy more fun to watch than tee-ball. 3-on-3 on an 8 ft hoop with a bunch of K/1st graders (who don't really know the rules) is much more exciting to watch.

2. Kaed's team is good. And they're all nice kids with good parents. Some of the parents include, but are not limited to: Greg Gardner, Bob Johanson, Jon Webb (Coach), Curt Ransom, Chris Ransom. Good kids from good families. It's refreshing. All the kids have somewhat of a clue as to what's going on too. It's like thier mom/dad actually played some bball with them before they joined the team.

3. Kaed is much better than I thought he'd be. It's not that I set the bar real low for him, but he's never played before, we don't have a hoop in the backyard, and all he's ever really done is dribble around the house. Oh, and he's the smallest kid on the team (he still has yet to crack the 40lb barrier - and he can't move Dash, seriously. He might as well be trying to lift a VW when he tries to pick Dash up.) So how were his first games? Awesome. My camera picked a lousy time to have a dead battery, but he scored 5 baskets! 5 shots. 5 freaking shots! And of course the gym erupted (because he easily had the biggest cheering section - 14 people) after every shot. But that wasn't even the best part. The kid can dribble. Both hands. You can't believe what a huge advantage that is at this level. He's aggressive, plays intensely bad defense (but it's getting better) and makes the funniest faces. You'd never know he's the smallest kid on the team - who's never played bball before. I'm very proud of him. (And his dad got him some Jordan III's. Sweet.)

*But on a side note, I've played bball since 4th grade, competatively and less-competatively, and never have I owned some Jordans. Bitter, no... But the Avias, Roos, and Olympics - with the zipper pocket - just seemed, well, nevermind.

4. Dash loves watching him play. He's glued to the games like it's prunes baby food. He yells when we yell, tries to reach for the ball whenever it's near, and cusses at the refs. True story. The kid has a mouth like a sailor - gets it from Leah. In fact, he got so mad at a no-call foul on Kaed that he looked right at the ref and with great vengance and furious anger, pooped his pants.

Take that.

Dash did just bust through his top two teeth a few days ago. Good times. Still bald. He's incredibly close to crawling, still, but I think he's just focusing on eating. He's doing this smacking thing when he eats that's pretty funny. Like, if you give him a big mouthful of sweet potatoes, he sticks his tongue out and smacks his mouth over and over. It's similar to how Murdok drinks water. A lot of sloshing with much of it running down his chin. I think he's real close to saying his first word - "wussat?" When it's quiet and then a noise is made or a door opens he whispers what I believe is "What's that?" But it's more baby-speak and sounds like "w'th't". Ok, he's whispering something that I'm probably reading too much into. I really don't want him to grow up. In fact I hope he doesn't ever grow hair or teeth. I like him just like this.

Another difference between men and women that I won't ever understand: Last night Leah and I were in bed talking (because we get to do that now that Dash is in Kaed's room). She's got one leg draped over my legs, one arm under my head and the other over my chest. Her nose is on my neck and she's wearing a shirt and long-johns. Yes, we're cuddling. In the middle of a conversation she says, "Man you're hot. (like the opposite of cold) You are radiating heat. Will you turn down the thermostat?" This of course drives me nuts and not because I have to get up. I don't mind a little snuggle-time, but I really can't do it for long because I'm a hot sleeper. I typically sleep with one sheet, no comforter. So when she told me I was hot, I already knew that. Not only had she draped the sheets over me, she was being a human blanket, breathing on my neck, in basically a sweat-suit (socks are absolutely prohibited in my bed though - but that's an entirely different story) and I was beginning to sweat. No kidding I was hot... It was kind of sweet that even though she was hot, she still wanted to snuggle - just with the heat lower so she'd be more comfortable, BUT, all I could think about was how hot I was at that moment, and if I turned down the thermostat she'd freeze and cling onto me all night and I'd be 5 lbs lighter in the morning from sweating all night (not all bad) and I'd sleep poorly and why can't she just wash her hair everyday because some of it's in my mouth, and Dash is going to wake up soon and be cold in this room. So no, I didn't turn down the heat. Anyone else go through stuff like that or is it just me? My poor wife.

Here's a picture of the Nordstrom great-grandkids: Helaina, Delaney, Kaed and Dash.

Oh, Leah and I have watched the first 2 seasons of Grey's Anatomy in the last 2 weeks. My estrogen levels are at an all-time high. Thank-you writer's guild strike.

Pictures From the Break

Here are some snapshots taken in the last 2 weeks. The actual post is the Anno Domini following the pics.

It snowed on Christmas day. Here's the future site of Lemiere Christmas's.

Here's the whole fam damily. It got a little bigger this year, but fortunately there was enough flannel pj's to go around.

Dash in his Christmas outfit that mom made for me once upon a time...

Kaeden Manning. Kaed's inflections on "Peyton" are funny. I said this before but I love his wordings. Most recent mis-pronounced words are: Honda Solo, Obi-Wand, Endo TS (Nintendo DS)

Dash's brain-butt. Inappropriate or suprisingly funny? Let me ask you this, did you know baby butt's could do that? Well then you learned something today.

Dash's first present on Christmas - jammies. By the way, his Christmas list consisted of three things: a remote control, a cell phone and wrapping paper.

Dash loves dogs - Murdok and Buster in particular. FYI, they'll be turning 7 years old on the 11th of Jan. Appropriate gifts include pig ears, softballs, thick rope and anything peanutbutter-related.

And finally, the fam with Grandma Joani, aka "Grandma the Great"

Anno Domini 2008

A lot has taken place in the last 2 weeks! Here's a glimpse of what Christmas morning was like at my house:

4AM
(Kaed whispering to Leah and I, standing in the doorway) (and he can barely see because he just woke up) "Is it time yet to open presents?"
(Andy, who is used to being up this early with Dash) "No, it's dark out and Santa may not have come yet. That's why we open presents when the sun comes out."
(Kaed) "He came. There are some new presents out there."
(Andy, struggling to find an answer because Kaed is right) . . .
(Leah, irritated, sleep-deprived) "Go to bed."

5Am
(Kaed, now completely awake because he never did go back to sleep) "Is it time yet?"
(Leah and Andy simultaneously answer in a loud whisper) "NO."

Kids. We were all up by about 6:30 so we opened presents and then headed up to my folks. At about 10 it started snowing and kept on throughout the day. Very nice. All in all, my 2 week Christmas break can be summed up in one word: Legos. It began with my mom getting all our old legos out for Kaed to play with. Then we just started to build all our old things. I'm kind of a Lego geek so I took the two big tubs of legos and started organizing them by color. A daunting task to be sure; mom helped. Then Santa got Kaed a Lego StarWars spaceship (Boba Fett's - really cool) and Nick got the complete saga StarWars Legos video game (Wii) for me - it's excellent. My fingertips are raw and my eyes have trouble focusing (I swear it's not because I'm 30), but that's what has consumed my time lately. And I love it.

Leah has a new hobby thanks to Jessica Seinfield: puree'-ing. I've had scrambled eggs with cauliflower, pancakes with squash, meatloaf with who knows what, and I'm pretty sure she snuck something into the last batch of cookies, but she won't say. Every meal is a mystery now. It's been pretty good so far though.

Here's the latest in Kaed and Dash's developments: Kaed's latest excuse for not doing something is "but I can't even read". If it were someone else's kid, it'd probably be funny to hear that from a 6 year old. For example, "Kaed, you deleted my StarWars Lego game that took me 2 days to do!"
"I don't know what I did, I can't even read." That exchange actually did happen, but he did feel bad about it - because he can relate to video game frustrations. In fact he offered me money to make me feel better. No lie. So I took 5 bucks and told him not to do it again. Hey, he's gotta learn. Just kidding.
I took 10.

If you can get Dash to look you in the face when you're holding him, he might give you a kiss. It's very sweet and slobbery and open-mouthed. I told Leah he'll be rounding first with the little girls in no time. I also gave him his first shower. Wow. The pure joy and delight he had being under the streams was baby ecstasy. He shrieked and giggled thw whole time. And I'm pretty sure he peed on me.

For New Year's eve, Leah and I left the boys at my folks overnight (first time with Dash) and went to Portland to a fondue restaurant called the Melting Pot. Overall, it was a good meal. The best part was the dessert where we had a banana-Foster's-white chocolate dip that we dipped fruit and cakes into. I just have trouble buying into any meal that costs 75 bucks and the best part is centered around a rice crispy treat. It doesn't make much sense to me, but apparently I'm unsophisticated. I also drink wine like I'm thirsty. Apparently that too is unsophisticated.
Hope your holiday was great.